It is not legal for minors to engage in sexual acts with each other and it is not legal for an adult to engage in sexual activity with a minor if unmarried. In Oregon, the age of consent to have "sexual contact" is 18. This means that while you are under the age of 18 you are legally incapable of consenting to a sexual act. Please be aware that minors engaged in sexual activity are in violation of the law in the state of Oregon and depending on many circumstances, if charged, a juvenile court judge can rule to move the case to adult court. See ORS 419C.349-370 Oregon Laws are described as "ORS" or "Oregon Revised Statutes" ORS 163.315 Incapacity to consent; effect of lack of resistance. (1) A person is considered incapable of consenting to a sexual act if the person is: (a) Under 18 years of age; (b) Mentally defective; (c) Mentally incapacitated; or (d) Physically helpless. (2) A lack of verbal or physical resistance does not, by itself, constitute consent but may be considered by the trier of fact along with all other relevant evidence. [1971 c.743 §105; 1999 c.949 §2; 2001 c.104 §52] "Sexual Act" can be defined as sexual contact or sexual intercourse. Definitions in the law are as follows: ORS 163.305 Definitions. (omitted definitions 2-5 to shorten the text) (1) “Deviate sexual intercourse” means sexual conduct between persons consisting of contact between the sex organs of one person and the mouth or anus of another. (6) “Sexual contact” means any touching of the sexual or other intimate parts of a person or causing such person to touch the sexual or other intimate parts of the actor for the purpose of arousing or gratifying the sexual desire of either party. (7) “Sexual intercourse” has its ordinary meaning and occurs upon any penetration, however slight; emission is not required. Oral sex could fall under the definitions 1 or 6 above which means it is a violation of the law in the same way that "Sexual intercourse" is a violation of the law.

Oregon Sex Offense Laws that may apply:

Punishments and Fines

Oregon Revised Statute 163.355 Rape in the third degree. (1) A person commits the crime of rape in the third degree if the person has sexual intercourse with another person under 16 years of age. (2) Rape in the third degree is a Class C felony. 163.365 Rape in the second degree. (1) A person who has sexual intercourse with another person commits the crime of rape in the second degree if the other person is under 14 years of age. (2) Rape in the second degree is a Class B felony. 163.375 Rape in the first degree. (1) A person who has sexual intercourse with another person commits the crime of rape in the first degree if: (a) The victim is subjected to forcible compulsion by the person; (b) The victim is under 12 years of age; (c) The victim is under 16 years of age and is the person’s sibling, of the whole or half blood, the person’s child or the person’s spouse’s child; or (d) The victim is incapable of consent by reason of mental defect, mental incapacitation or physical helplessness. (2) Rape in the first degree is a Class A felony. In accordance with the FBI definition, statutory rape is characterized as non-forcible sexual intercourse with a person who is younger than the statutory age of consent. There are only a few states in the nation that actually call it "Statutory Rape" within the written law. In Oregon, this crime could fall under a few different statutes depending on the age of the victim. 163.415 Sex abuse in the third degree describes the actual "Age of consent" to have consensual sex in Oregon. This, along with 2nd and 3rd degree rape, would be considered "Statutory Rape" laws. 163.415 Sexual abuse in the third degree. (1) A person commits the crime of sexual abuse in the third degree if the person subjects another person to sexual contact and: (a) The victim does not consent to the sexual contact; or (b) The victim is incapable of consent by reason of being under 18 years of age. (2) Sexual abuse in the third degree is a Class A misdemeanor.

In Oregon, a person is considered by law to be incapable of consenting to a sexual act if the person is: (a) Under 18 years of age. A person commits the crime of sexual misconduct if the person engages in sexual intercourse or deviate sexual intercourse with an unmarried person under 18 years of age. Sexual misconduct is a Class C misdemeanor. A person commits the crime of rape in the third degree if the person has sexual intercourse with another person under 16 years of age. Rape in the third degree is a Class C felony

In Oregon, any sexual contact, such as heavy petting, by an adult to a minor is considered sexual abuse. At the ages that they are at, this would be a Class A misdemeanor, with a maximum sentence of 1 year in jail. However, Oregon does allow a defense to this crime if your son can prove that he reasonably believed her to be 18. Your mother's suggestion is probably a good course of action, given the circumstances.

As the age difference between the two of you is more than 3 years, sexual contact and intercourse between the two of you is illegal. Parents can't consent for their children when it comes to sexual activity. As you are over 16, it's just a misdemeanor, and not a felony, so if any prosecution came from it, it would probably require you or your parents filing the report. As far as dating goes, without sexual contact and with your parents' consent, there's no laws that you need to worry about.