Submitted by dunsailn on Thu, 10/16/2008 - 06:07.

The age of majority, and age of consent do not match up legally in most states. In Illinois, the age of majority (the age a person is legally considered an adult) is 18. The age of consent (the age a person can no longer be a victim of statutory rape) is 17. Legally, you are still a minor under the charge, care, and responsibility of your parents. You can not legally enter into binding agreements without your parents giving permission or consent. This is why most minor's can not move out unless someone else (an adult) is signing a lease or rental agreement.

In your situation, it sounds like more of an issue of a parent accepting that their 17 year old daughter has become emotionally and sexually involved with an adult male who is 21 years older. This would be unacceptable and difficult for 99.9% of all parents and especially Dads who love and care about their daughters future. The fact of the matter is, your boyfriend is in a stage of life more closely aligned to the stage of life your parents are in, and at 17, you are in a completely different stage of life. Not having any facts on your situation, I will only say this. "Love" can often be disguised as infatuation at the age of 17. Certainly, it may boost any 38 year old males ego to have a young girl/teen on his arm. What you might ask yourself is this: Why would a 38 year old man who has come through his high school years, teens, college, probably been in a few relationships, maybe even has been married and has kids of his own, find himself in love with a 17 year old girl? Is he not capable of finding a woman in his own age bracket to be interested in him? At 17, you may be very mature, but the fact remains, you have not experienced even half the life your boyfriend has. If he truly cares about you, he will allow you to experience some life and actually become a legal adult before encouraging you or influencing you to put your relationship with your parents in turmoil by taking actions in the name of Love that can potentially drive a wedge between you and people who will always be the most important people in your life. Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, but to most mature adults who are near the same age as your boyfriend and in the same stages of life, may see this as a little suspicious that this man is not mature enough to handle or attract women nearer to his own age.

We don’t generally give relationship advice here. We do legal research. It's obvious that if you are 17, in less than a year you will be 18 and will be legally able to make all your own decisions with the same legal power as any other adult in the state of Illinois. Being 17 is a tough age. We see so many teens with no parents to support them and guide them in situations like this. It is refreshing to hear from teens whose parents are engaged and interested in their child's lives. You are lucky in many respects to have parents who care enough to state an objection. It would be beneficial for you to try to understand that any Dad, who has loved, supported and protected his daughter for the first 17 years of her life will have a difficult time letting go. In this situation, you may not get support from your Dad or Mom for this relationship due to the fact that the age difference is so great and the outcome may not be what you expect. It may be best to wait until you are a legal adult before making a decision to move in with the 38 year old. Emotionally, being an adult and making adult choices doesn’t magically happen when you turn 18. It’s just a number that legally makes it your right.

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